Politeness is heavily under-appreciated by most near-aspie geeks like me.
In reality, politeness serves to make the social machinery operate well, and the cost of being polite seems to be, 95% of the time, swamped by the value in goodwill that it generates.
Cases, however, when politeness MAY not be useful/as useful:
1. near-aspie geeks
2. mixed cultures -- Russian politeness rituals are different from ours, and so the purpose of politeness (ritualized recognition of other's value qua person) is lost.
3. near-mixed cultures -- Texan hospitality and California hospitality are different. Polite in one state is often uncomfortable in the other.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
5 comments:
Case 4:
Your opposition is deliberately using your tendency towards politeness to impede you from defending your group's interest.
Good point.
Um...
Could we have a quick primer on the differences between TX and CA hospitality?
Good points, everyone.
I am geek too, and one of the reasons I've always thought that the rest of the world was aspie was that I put such a ridiculously high premium on politeness. (On the other hand, I'm the one who can't stand wristwatches, can't tell jokes, and got pounded on in high school, so maybe I'm the aspie.)
My theory is just that the whole world is now a mixed culture, and thus your point 3 (and Jehu's point 4) has pretty much killed off any actual utility in politeness. America's rudest city was historically it's most multi-ethnic city. The rest of America is being New Yorkized, leaving less territory where people like me can feel comfortable.
B Lode,
Welcome to the blog.
1. I don't find EVERYWHERE to be a mixed bag. There are certainly places in CA, TX, and IL where one can assume no mixed-bag rather successfully. Austin, TX, or Sili Valley, CA are not as likely to have stable politeness norms.
2. I also put a rather high premium on politeness, with my favorites tending mildly towards the Texan hospitality.
Post a Comment